


into the un-magnificent lives of adults

by sandyk



Category: Superstore (TV)
Genre: Bi Jonah, F/M, bi amy, jonah with mental illness, sexually active amy, without slut shaming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 13:57:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13928517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandyk/pseuds/sandyk
Summary: But Amy was feeling herself. She was hot. She was single. She had nothing to be ashamed of. She's only sort stalking and investigating Jonah.





	into the un-magnificent lives of adults

**Author's Note:**

> For the trope bingo squares Against all odds / free space. Title from the national's mistaken for strangers. not mine, no profit garnered.

Guys Amy had sex with after Tate:

One of Mateo's super hot cousins. 

A divorced father Dina's lawyer cousin knew who was also hot and good in bed, more than Mateo's cousin. 

A guy her brother had dated, because the guy was bisexual and Amy was actually very different from her brother, thank you very much. 

A guy from a dating app. A guy who just randomly asked her out when she went to bowling with her sister and one of her cousins. A guy who used to work at Cloud 9 and actually got a good job in construction and was now a supervisor and in a union and everything. 

Nothing lasted longer than a date or two. But she was feeling herself. She was hot. She was single. She had nothing to be ashamed of. She told Marcus five times in the store that no one could actually call dibs on a human being and he was a dumpster fire of a human being. She called Tate that, too, but only because he pissed her off with one too many vibrator jokes. 

She finally felt like she was getting what she wanted for once. Not the casual sex, though she totally wanted that, it turned out. But she and Adam had made each other miserable and she kept waiting to be happy now that they weren't together. 

People Jonah had sex with was no one. At least as far as Amy was aware since Kelly broke up with him for being a jerk and distracted. Amy tried not to press for the full details. Jonah could indeed be a jerk and he was really easily distracted. 

She had no intention of asking him if he'd had sex with anyone else. Also, Garrett told her Jonah wasn't getting any. 

She followed him out of the store. "Hey," she said. "I heard you're moving. Is that true?"

"Oh, yeah," Jonah said. He smiled for a split second and then kept walking. "I think it's time. I mean, I think I still have time before Garrett throws me out."

"He wouldn't throw you out," Amy said.

"Yes he would," Jonah said. 

"So where are you moving?"

"I've applied at a few places," Jonah said. "We'll see. Don't worry, I don't need you to help me move."

"I didn't think that," Amy said. 

"Okay, good," Jonah said. He waved bye as he got in his car.

She didn't see him for two days. Garrett told her he'd moved out. Kelly quit because she got a job at a hotel at the front desk. "She'll be good at that," Amy said.

"You hate her," Dina said. "She'll be awful at the computer parts judging from how she worked here. But she'll be good with the customers, she's got that whole tiny tinkerbell thing going on and she's blonde and adorable. That balances it all out, I assume."

"I don't hate her," Amy said. 

"You'd think with her gone, Jonah would stop being so twitchy, literally," Dina said.

"No, he's always like that," Garrett said. "Hands shaking, rubbing at his chest, he does all that stuff. Just usually not at work."

"But none of us are concerned about that," Amy said.

"Not really," Dina said. 

In the morning when she tried to find him to hang out with him or get him to cover the register after Earl "suddenly" "got sick," she couldn't find him anywhere. She asked Marcus for some reason and he just wanted to argue dibs again. She finally found Jonah cleaning the bathroom. She said, "Did someone assign you in here?"

"A customer complained about vomit and shit, actual shit, so I assigned myself, I guess," he said. He stood up and looked blank.

"I don't think I've seen the bathroom this clean," Amy said. "You worked at this really hard."

"It was sort of soothing?"

"Okay," Amy said. "Can you take the register for the next two hours?"

Jonah blanched and then said, "Sure, sure, of course."

She found him later in the day and he was laughing with Mateo. "You both find something funny?"

"It was a customer," Mateo said. 

"A very irritating customer," Jonah said, still smiling. "Am I done on register?"

"Sure," Amy said. "Mateo, go find Cheyenne and tell her to take over here."

Jonah followed Amy as she walked to housewares. "What brings you here to this aisle, Amy?"

He seemed back to chipper Jonah. She said, "I'm painting my living room tomorrow. Dina was going to help me but, you know, paint fumes, pregnant. She'd risk it, but then she decided not to poison Glenn's kid."

"That's very kind of her," Jonah said. "I can help you."

"Please, please," Amy said.

When Jonah finally arrived, Amy had already taken the pictures, etc, down off the walls, covered the furniture with drop clothes and the same on the floor. He was smiling, though. He took the brushes and did what she told him to do. He said, "Blue, huh?"

"Yeah, it's officially some kind of pastel blue, light blue a slight bit of neon, I'm trying to ignore that it sort of resembles the Cloud 9 blue because it's different from that. It's different," Amy said. "It's not a huge change but everything else will be."

"Everything else will be?"

"I'm moving some of the furniture around, like, some of it's going to the basement, and I'm turning the dining room into a guest room slash craft room," Amy said.

"Are you selling the house?"

"No, no," Amy said. "I'm not even thinking about that until Emma goes off to college. If she goes to college around here I won't do it until she graduates. Oh, God, that could be just a few years from now."

"Eight years isn't a few years," Jonah said.

"She might graduate college early, she's really smart," Amy said.

"I could have graduated early, but I stayed the full four years by adding a useless second major. It wasn't because I was super smart, it was because I do really well on tests," Jonah said.

"How useful was your first major?"

"More useful than aesthetics and philosophy of art," Jonah said. 

"You technically have a degree in that?" She looked over at him. He was in a t-shirt for once and she was reminded that he had pretty muscular arms. 

"I technically do," Jonah said. 

"No wonder you ended up at Cloud 9," Amy said. 

"Well, actually, some of the stuff I learned for that were helpful in business school. I'm not even kidding," Jonah said. 

He made her laugh, he was so good at that. They took a break to let the first coat dry and Amy looked at everything she'd taken off the walls. "I don't know if I like any of these now."

Jonah said, "You're supposed to hold it and think if it brings you joy."

"Who says that?"

"It's a decluttering method," Jonah said. "That's what I did when I moved."

"Did you have a lot of stuff to hold and decide what emotion it brought you?"

Jonah winced a little. Then he smiled a very obviously forced smile and said, "Not really. But we acquire things."

"We certainly do." She picked up a picture and said, "Okay. I feel mild distaste for this one."

She went through each picture and painting and ended up with five winners. Two were of Emma only, one was Amy with her brother and sister as children at their uncle's wedding. The other two were old family pictures from back in Honduras. "So that's it, then."

"See? The holding thing was helpful."

"Sure," Amy said. She looked at him again, the very familiar shape of his face, his slightly more relaxed hair than usual at work. She really wanted him. She thought of Dina talking about her favorite part of the penis and wondered what the undercarriage of Jonah's looked like. Which was insane. Not insane insane, she was perfectly aware she was incredibly attracted to Jonah against all common sense. He really did look like some Disney prince, only more Jewish. 

She got them both beers and they did the second coat of paint. Then they drank more beer in the kitchen. At some point he was laughing about her new microwave and she just moved. Pressed herself against him and reached up for his hair to kiss him. He kissed back immediately and she felt her wanting between her legs. She wanted him so much. She kissed him again and again and his hands were on her back, pushing up her shirt. She sunk down to her knees and undid his jeans. "Hey, hey," he said. 

"Shush," she said. He was only half hard but he was certainly getting there. She let her mouth and tongue explore the undercarriage, such a dumb term, but he had this delightful pink penis and he clearly shaved or waxed down there which was so exactly Jonah. She braced her hand on his hip and went right into blow job mode.

Adam had loved her blow jobs. The last contact she'd had with Adam's penis was the blow job she'd given him that night after the tornado. Now she'd had the chance to do it on more guys and different penises. She actually liked giving blow jobs. Dina had mentioned more than once that she hated doing it, but Amy liked the heavy weight on her tongue, her mouth stretched open, the taste. She even swallowed. 

Though before she swallowed, she pulled his dick all the way out of her mouth and said, "This is probably too late, but you don't have any STDs, right?"

"No, no, nope, I don't, I really don't," Jonah said.

"Good," she said. Then she went back to sucking him off until he came in her mouth. 

She sat back on her heels. "By the way, I'm totally hot for you," she said. 

"I figured," he said. 

It turned out Jonah was pretty great at oral sex, too. She was sitting on her chair, her ass half hanging off the edge and she giggled maybe more than was necessary. He also stopped right before she came and asked if she had any STDs. She laughed and said, "Actually, I don't, I don't." She went back to giggling and babbling until she came from his really wonderful mouth. 

They both showered and cleaned up, still sort of shyly smiling at each other. When Amy got out of the shower, she saw Jonah putting on his shoes. She said, "Oh, you're heading out?" She tried not to sound disappointed. She wasn't disappointed. 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry," Jonah said. "Obviously, I really like you, but. I really like you and I'm not ready for something with you right now. Like, gimme a month?" He looked up at her and smiled. "A month, I swear. Then I'm all over this."

"Something's going to change in the next month?" Now she was just puzzled.

"Me, I'm going to change. See, I'm just." He sighed. "You might have guessed I have some issues, just a mental thing, and my doctor is adjusting. So I'm just a little off. And I don't want to do anything until I have a better grip."

"Oh," Amy said. "Okay. Yeah, I would have guessed that. When you say adjusting, you mean pills?"

"Yup," Jonah said. He was standing up and looking around her bedroom. Anywhere but at her. "It just takes some time. But like, a month. For sure."

"Oh, sure," Amy said.

"Unless, like, if you wanted to not now that you know for sure I'm what Glenn would call mentally cursed, and you just want to be friends," Jonah said. He was engrossed in the hem of his t-shirt. 

"He doesn't say mentally cursed anymore," Amy said. "And nope, I'm still interested in you as more than a friend."

"This is pretty awkward," Jonah said.

"Yes," Amy said. "But we're still talking, so that's a step forward."

"Exactly," Jonah said. He quickly kissed her cheek and then he was heading downstairs.

She waited half an hour and texted him 'i failed to say you're really good at that''

'Thank you,' he texted back. 'You, too'

'Because i would totally do that again when you're adjusted'

'Same here.' 

She looked at the letters on her phone screen. She really didn't mind. She had kinda assumed Jonah had seen a shrink or two in his day. And seeing one currently was smart of him. His whole losing everything he owned, that had to be traumatic, too. Everyone could use some help, Amy thought.

She texted him. 'For real i'm totally okay with you getting help and being on pills and stuff. If you decide to do it with crystals and aromatherapy, i'd be freaked out a little'

After a few minutes, Jonah texted back. 'I only do the crystals and aromatherapy for fun'

She hunted him down to the loading dock this time. She said, "I'm sorry I'm being awkward. It's like when my brother came out, I knew he was gay, we all knew, but once he actually said it, I felt like I didn't have any of the vocabulary. So I'm totally yay treating mental illness and end the stigma. But I don't know the way to say it without sounding like an asshole."

"I don't think you sound like an asshole," Jonah said.

"So, like, you're depressed," Amy said.

"I have depression, yup. Also generalized anxiety disorder. But the medication makes that easier," Jonah said. "And I had some therapy, et cetera."

"Garrett said you're a gambling addict," Amy said.

"Ah, he exaggerates. I had some issues. It's not that bad. Sometimes it gets away from me, but I stopped myself and I'm careful. I barely gamble," Jonah said. 

"And you take medication and it's being adjusted?" 

"Yeah," Jonah said. "I take, I took 3 different ones, and my doctor has me stopping one of them and add two more. So right now, it's a lot of headaches and cramps and mood swings."

"That doesn't sound fun," Amy said.

"Yeah, just give me a month," Jonah said. "It's okay if you don't want to."

"I want to, you dork," Amy said. 

Two days later, she found him sitting on Brett's bench. She tapped the plaque. "So, how many people paid you for this plaque?"

He smiled. "At least seven."

"I paid you," she said. 

"At least eight. And, of course, you can't return memorial plaques." He tugged at his fingers. 

"So, it was about two hundred fifty dollars, and you got about fifty," Amy said.

Jonah shrugged. "Whatever, I knew it was unlikely I'd get paid back."

"You're just swimming in money," Amy said.

"Well, more now. Even with all the expenses, my new place is still cheaper than Garrett's."

"How is that possible?"

"Well, I paid half," Jonah said. "Of everything. He would tell me the total, it seemed to vary depending on how annoyed with me he was."

"Are you serious?" Amy shook her head. "That's ridiculous."

"I really didn't mind," Jonah said.

"Are these new pills going to give you some self-esteem?" She said it quietly and then thought it was maybe an awful thing to say.

Jonah kept smiling. "I have self-esteem. I like to be liked. I maybe like to be liked more than I'm ready to stand up for myself sometimes."

She still brought it up with Garrett the next time she saw him. "How much did you rip off Jonah when he lived with you?"

"I didn't rip him off," Garrett said. "He knew."

"So you just made him pay half the rent, half the utilities, or more than half?"

"More than half," Garrett said. "I'm not bothered by it, his mother sends him money every month. I think one of his brothers does, too."

"Really?"

Garrett looked over at her. "Still upset with me?"

Amy glared at him. "Yes. Just because he lets you, it doesn't mean it's right."

"It's not right, but it's okay. Whitney taught us that," Garrett said. He looked up, like he was talking to heaven. 

Amy realized she had no idea where Jonah had moved to. She got the address off his check which she was allowed to see, really. Then she mapped it on Google and did the Google street view. She didn't drive by. 

Jonah was now in one of those older places, converted into six apartments. His was on the first floor. He was paying more rent than he could afford on his salary from Cloud 9 but that made sense, too. Amy wasn't even surprised that Jonah got an allowance. 

She wondered what had survived him holding things in his hands and deciding if he found joy in them. She was being super nosy and obsessed. 

But this was Jonah. He was so transparently open and at the same time she barely knew anything about him. They were eating lunch in the break room. She said,"How many brothers and sisters do you have? Do you have any sisters?"

"No sisters," Jonah said. "Five older brothers. Not much an age difference actually, my parents had six kids in ten years, every two years like clockwork.All our birthdays are in the same month, too."

Mateo said, "How does it feel knowing your parents wanted a girl?" She hadn't even realized Mateo was sitting behind them. 

"They weren't thrilled at first, but they got over it. Before I was even born. Now they have three granddaughters, so they're okay," Jonah said.

"What are their names? Which ones are married? Which ones have kids?" 

Jonah looked at her like she was being weird. Because she absolutely was. He said, "Uh, Isaac, Edgar, Henry, Oliver and Benjamin. And me. Everyone's married besides Oliver and me. Isaac, Henry, Benjamin and Oliver have kids."

"Oliver's divorced," Amy said. 

Jonah shook his head. "No, he's actually not. Oliver's best friend is aromantic slash asexual and they both want a kid but neither is really into settling down long term, so they conceived Iris and they basically share a townhouse in Milwaukie."

Mateo said, "Are you trying to say your brother is a slut?"

"Oliver's a not a slut, he's just not into monogamy."

"Which is the fancy way to say slut," Mateo said. "Iris Simms is a horrible name."

"Her name is Iris McGuire," Jonah said. "Do you want to see a picture? She's adorable."

"Nope," Mateo said. "Can't stand babies or toddlers or young children."

After Mateo left, Amy said, "I have a gay brother, too. I already said that, too."

"Henry is bi," Jonah said. "Before he married Juliette, he made out with so so many guys in high school."

"Maybe he's just closeted," Amy said.

"No, he says he's bi and he says it in front of his wife, so I believe him," Jonah said. 

"Right," Amy said. "So, big liberal family, huh?"

"Basically," Jonah said. "Are you wondering which one sends me an allowance?"

"No," Amy said. "Yes." 

"My mom does and Isaac does. You didn't ask, but I sold Edgar's car in college to settle some gambling debts," Jonah said. 

"Do they send you a lot of money?"

"My mom sends $500 and Isaac sends $300," Jonah said. "Isaac feels guilty because he thinks he knew all along that I wasn't suited for business school, but he helped me get in so my so-called breakdown is his fault."

"I thought your dad wanted to be your favorite, why doesn't he send you money?"

Jonah smiled tightly. "He pays for my health insurance."

Amy nodded. They were, oddly enough, alone in the break room. "If you don't want to go out with me after this background check, I totally understand."

Jonah smiled genuinely. "It takes more than that to turn me off."

A week later Jonah had the day off and on her way home, Amy found herself driving to his place. She even parked outside. She was an obsessive sixteen year old. She just wondered. "Curiosity," Amy said as she got out of her car. After all, she had a daughter. It was the stupidest excuse in the world, because Amy trusted Jonah completely. 

She knocked on the door. There was silence for a moment and then she heard Jonah walking towards the door. Amy said, "Hey, hey. Just me, invading your privacy."

"Hey," Jonah said, opening the door. He looked horrible. Tired and pale and unwashed. "I guess you want to come in."

"Sure," Amy said. The apartment was pretty minimalist. There was a couch, a table, two chairs, a big flatscreen TV, nothing on the wall except a framed picture that looked like something done by 6 year old. She walked over to it and saw it was signed 'from iris to uncle jonah the best.' She would have kept that one, too. 

"I'm sorry," she said. "I don't know why I'm suddenly all over your life."

"Whatever," Jonah said. "I don't have much to hide." He sat down on the couch and waved her over. "Sorry, I didn't get ready for anything today. I haven't even left the apartment."

"No, I should be sorry." The TV was paused. Jonah started it back up. "Is this that, the woman who was in a cult or something?"

"Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt," Jonah said. "She was held in a bunker. I don't know why I'm watching, it always freaks me out."

"Were you ever in a bunker?"

"Nope, no kidnapping, no being held in a bunker, nothing like that," Jonah said. He looked over at her and smiled. "I was always anxious. When I was in college, I gambled too much and as I said, sold Edgar's car, then I volunteered, then I had some internships and a contract job, and then I spent six months in a mental hospital. I haven't been back since then, but I've had lots of therapy. I've never hurt myself or took drugs, and I've had tons of therapy."

"Six months," Amy said.

"Yup, the non-criminal kind. More like where Britney Spears went but no celebrities. I mean, the place was really nice, my dad got me great insurance," Jonah said. "Reconsidering me again, huh?"

"No," Amy said. They talked about something else and at some point Amy just said, "Can I sleep here tonight? We don't have to do anything, I don't want to drive home. Also, I really want to see your bedroom."

"I would never say no to a beautiful woman in my bed," Jonah said.

"I fart a lot in my sleep," Amy said. Jonah laughed and put his hand on his mouth. She said, "Just kidding. So far as you know."

It was weird that they didn't really make out, just snuggle up together. But something about getting ready for bed meant they were both just going through motions, even if Amy was doing it in a very different location. Jonah's bedroom was predictably minimalist. The bedframe was on the floor and there was only one bookcase besides the bed. The bookcase had books in the top shelf, the other shelves had clothes. 

After Jonah fell asleep, Amy found herself just laying there. She kept thinking about six months in an institution. Looney bin. That was a bad term. It wasn't new information. It wasn't new information that Jonah had stuff going on. That it had been serious in the past wasn't even really new information. Amy had assumed. Because he had almost no job experience. But that could have been that he had money enough and a big cushion and never had to do anything. 

He wasn't that way now. He was a good worker. He didn't really take Cloud 9 seriously, but that was a point in his favor. But he showed up and he wasn't a drain on the store like some people. 

The thing was, Amy thought, that when they were Jonah and Amy, it wouldn't be the kind of thing that lasted two weeks or was just casual. So he'd be around, around Emma a lot, maybe they'd have a baby. Amy wanted another baby, she could picture Jonah as the father. Except maybe all his crazy was hereditary. That was an awful thought. She shouldn't think of it as all of his crazy. He had a treatable mental illness. That had been treated. 

Amy was perfectly normal, after all, nothing wrong with her. She opened her eyes. She probably could use some help. Everyone could use a little help. Her marriage counselor certainly seemed to think Amy could benefit from some separate alone therapy. Her marriage counselor had been a dick, though. 

Their baby would probably have really thick hair. She should have asked if the thick hair was a Simms thing or just a Jonah thing. 

Jonah stirred and made a little noise. She said, "Are you going to tell me to stop thinking so hard?"

"Mhmm?" Jonah shifted and then said, "Nope, just woke up. Not really clever." He was breathing heavily.

"Did you have a nightmare?"

"Maybe?" Jonah shifted again like he was getting back in snuggle mode and ready to fall asleep. "I don't remember."

"Probably a good idea," Amy said. 

He woke up first in the morning. She knew that because he woke her up as he was getting dressed. She sat up and said, "Hey. You know, we could have sex. When do you have to work?"

He stared at her in what definitely seemed like shock. He finally said, "I'm not working today. I don't have anything for breakfast, I was going to get you something."

"We can have sex after," Amy said. "Where are you going for breakfast?"

"I, I don't know. There's a place near here. They have coffee, eggs, hash potatoes, steak, bacon. I have lots of greens for lunch and dinner," Jonah said. "When did you take off, you're not wearing a top."

"Yes, you can indeed see my breasts. But you've already had your face up in vagina, so I felt okay with it," Amy said. "I don't want steak for breakfast or any kind of fish, but everything else sounded good. And then we can hang out and maybe have sex around lunch?"

"Okay," Jonah said. "You know, I feel adjusted. As much adjusted as I'm going to be, anyway. There's always tweaking. We should date. Along with the sex."

"You know I'm up for it," she said. She went into the bathroom. "You know how I like my coffee, right?"

"Yup," Jonah said. 

Breakfast was pretty good. She went out to her car and got her slut bag. "Slut bag is a horrible name for it," she said as she came back inside to Jonah's. "But like, when I was sleeping around a little, sowing my wild oats, I found it helpful to have some things in a bag."

"You could just call it an overnight bag," Jonah said. "Also, I have questions for you, this time. What's your number?"

"Like the movie?" Amy grinned. "Wait, how are we defining sex?"

"I would say we've had sex even if my penis hasn't been in your vagina," Jonah said. 

"Okay," Amy said. She counted in her head. "14, no, wait, 15. Your turn."

Jonah shook his head. "No, I don't think so, because you already did a background check on me, basically. All men?"

"Actually, no," Amy said. "I had sex as we're defining it with a couple of girls in high school. How about you?"

"I'm not giving you my number, but yes, like my brother, I would say I'm bisexual," Jonah said. "We're getting back to you, though. So why not date some women after the divorce?"

"It already took so much pain and suffering just to date, adding in outing myself to Emma or worse, anyone at the store, I dunno. I really didn't run into anyone that's made me wanna get back to it. But I don't think it was just experimentation, I mean, I would say I'm bisexual. Not to Emma," Amy said.

"Adam already knows?"

"Adam and I dated the same girl, one right after the other --"

"Renee?"

"No," Amy said, disgusted. "I never, Renee was not attractive like that. Not to me or Adam. Her name was actually, wait for it, Kelly."

Jonah smiled. "I think that's all my questions. Maybe we can just let everything else just be discovered."

"Okay," Amy said. She didn't say she'd already made up her mind, that she was going to be with Jonah for a long, long time, barring something awful happening. She'd let him discover that, but he probably already suspected. She wondered if he felt the same way. 

She honestly figured she'd just be having sex with Jonah for the rest of her life. He looked up and smiled at her like he could read her mind.


End file.
